McCoy: By golly, Jim, I'm beginning to think I can cure a rainy day!

Kirk: You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, Doctor.
McCoy: That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all those arguments he lost!

McCoy: What am I, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor? If I jumped every time a light flashed around here, I'd end up talking to myself.


McCoy: Spock, remind me to tell you that I'm sick and tired of your logic.
Spock: That is a most illogical attitude.


McCoy: Mr Spock, you said a while ago that there were always alternatives.
Spock: Did I? I may have been mistaken.
McCoy: Well, at least I lived long enough to hear that.


Kirk: Now you're starting to sound like Spock.
McCoy: If you're gonna get nasty, I'm gonna leave.


Spock: I made an error in my computations.
McCoy: Oh? This could be an historic occasion.


Spock: Your attempt to improve the species through selective breeding.
McCoy: Oh now wait a minute - not our attempt, Mr Spock. A group of ambitious scientists. I'm sure you know the type - devoted to logic, completely unemotional - !


McCoy, on the transporter: I signed on this ship to practice medicine, not to have my atoms scattered back and forth across space by this gadget.


McCoy: You were about to make a medical comment, Jim?


McCoy: I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist. I am Leonard McCoy, senior medical officer aboard the USS Enterprise.
Edith Keeler: I don't mean to disbelieve you, but that's hardly a Navy uniform.
McCoy: It's quite all right, it's quite all right, my dear - I don't believe in you either.


McCoy: Pure speculation, just an educated guess: I'd say that man is alive, Jim!

McCoy: Oh how surprising

McCoy: Of course, Mr Spock, your reaction was quite logical. In a pig's eye!


McCoy: Everything's all messed up, changed around, out of place!


McCoy: Second degree burns. Not serious, but I bet they smart.
Spock: Doctor, you have an unsurpassed talent for understatement.

Spock: I need your advice.
McCoy: Then I need a drink.

Spock: Do not risk the ship further on my behalf.
McCoy: Shut up, Spock. We're rescuing you!
Spock: Why thank you, Captain McCoy.


Thug: Are you tryin' to make trouble?
McCoy: Who, me?
Thug: Don't give me those baby blue eyes.
McCoy: What?


Spock: (uses the nerve pinch)
McCoy: You do that very well.

McCoy: Well, what do you know? I finally got the last word.


McCoy: In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us. Don't destroy the one named Kirk.


Khan: Where am I?
McCoy: You're in bed, holding a knife at your doctor's throat.
Khan: Answer my question!
McCoy: It would be most effective if you would cut the corotic artery, just under the left ear.
Khan: I like a brave man.


Spock: My father's race were spared the dubious benefits of alcohol.
McCoy: Oh. Now I know why they were conquered.

McCoy: A blind man could see it with a cane!

Scotty: Thank heavens!
Spock: Mr. Scott, there was no deity involved. It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them.
McCoy: Well then, thank pitchforks and pointed ears!


McCoy: How can you be deaf with ears like that?


McCoy: Angels and ministers of grace defend us!

McCoy: I choose the danger. (Aside) Hell of a time to ask.


Data: If that subject troubles you -
McCoy: Troubles me? What's so troublesome about not having died?


McCoy: I don't see no points on your ears boy, but you sound like a Vulcan!
Data: I am an android.
McCoy: Almost as bad.

McCoy: Shut up Spock! We're rescuing you!
Spock: Yes captin McCoy.

McCoy: Well, it's a new ship, but she's got the right name. You remember that.
Data: I will, Sir.
McCoy: You treat her like a lady, and she'll always bring you home.


I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer.
I'm a doctor, not a psychiatrist.
I'm a doctor, not a mechanic.
I'm a doctor, not an escalator.
I'm a doctor, not an engineer. (Scotty: Now you're an engineer.)
I'm a doctor, not a coal miner.
I'm a surgeon, not a moon shuttle conductor.
I'm not a magician, just an old country doctor.
He's dead, Jim.
She's dead,
He's dead, Captain.
He's dead.
She's dead.
Dead.
This man is dead.
That man's dead back there.
Very dead, Mr. Spock.
The captain's dead.

Mudd: Opportunity? Now listen Spock, you may be a wonderful science officer but believe me you couldn't sell fake patents to your mother.
Spock: I fail to understand why I should care to induce my mother to purchase falcified patents.
Mudd: Forget it...


Kirk: Have I ever mentioned you play a very irritating game of chess, Mr Spock?
Spock: Irritating? Ah yes - one of your Earth emotions.
Where No Man has Gone Before
Bailey: I happen to have a human thing called an adrenaline.
Spock: That sounds most inconvenient. Have you considered having it removed?
The Corbomite Manoeuver

(Spock uses the nerve pinch)
Kirk: I'd like you to teach me that sometime.
The Naked Time

Spock: Your illogical approach to chess does have its advantages on occasion, Captain.
Kirk: I prefer to call it inspired.
Spock: As you wish.


Kirk: You're not going to admit that, for the first time in your life, you made a completely emotional decision based on desperation?
Spock: No, sir.
Kirk: Mr Spock, you're a stubborn man.
Spock: Yes, Sir.


Captain Christopher, seeing Spock for the first time: I never have believed in little green men.
Spock: Neither have I.


McCoy: Shouldn't you be working on your time warp calculations, Mr Spock?
Spock: I am. (He resumes staring into space)

Kirk: You'd make a splendid computer, Mr Spock.
Spock: That is very kind of you, Captain!

Kirk: So, we're stranded here, in the middle of a Klingon occupation army.
Spock: So it would seem. Not a very pleasant prospect.
Kirk: You have a gift for understatement, Mister Spock. It's not a very pleasant prospect at all.


Kirk: You didn't really think I was going to beat his head in, did you?
Spock: I thought you might.
Kirk: You're right.


Kirk: Well, Mr Spock, if we can't disguise you, we'll find some way of explaining you.
Spock: That should prove interesting.


Spock: I am endeavoring, ma'am, to construct a mnemonic circuit using stone knives and bearskins.


Kirk: My friend is obviously Chinese. I see you've noticed the ears. They're ... actually quite easy to explain.
Spock: Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child...
Kirk: The unfortunate accident he had as a child, he caught his head in a mechanical ... rice picker.


Kirk: At times you seem quite human.
Spock: Captain, I don't think that insults are within your prerogative as my commanding officer.


Spock: I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question.


Kirk: Spock!
Spock, kissing Leila: Yes, what did you want?
Kirk, confused: Spock, is that you?
Spock: Yes, Captain, what did you want?
Kirk: Where are you?
Spock: I don't believe I want to tell you that.
Kirk: Spock, I don't know what you think you're doing, but this is an order. Report back to me at the settlement in ten minutes. We're evacuating all colonists to Starbase 27.
Spock: No, I don't think so.
Kirk: You - don't - think - so - what??
Spock: I don't think so Sir!

Spock: I am what I am, Leila, and if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else's.


Kirk: Well, there it is - war. We didn't want it, but we've got it.
Spock: It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.


Kirk: What would you say the odds are on our getting out of here?
Spock: It is difficult to be precise, Captain. I should say approximately 7824.7 to one.
Kirk: Difficult to be precise? 7824 to one?
Spock: 7824.7 to one.
Kirk: That's a pretty close approximation.
Spock: I endeavour to be accurate.
Kirk: You do quite well.


Spock: The creature within me is gone. I am free of it, and the pain. I am also quite blind. An equitable trade, Doctor. Thank you.


Kirk: Spock, comments?
Spock: Very bad poetry, Captain.
Kirk: A more useful comment, Mr Spock?
Spock: What we've just seen is not real.
Kirk: That's useful.

Spock: Verbose, isn't he?


Spock, examining a tribble: A curious creature. Its trilling seems to have a tranquilizing effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course, I am ... immune ... to ... its ... effect...
Proving that Vulcans can lie after all,

It's android-confusing time!
Spock: I love you, however, I hate you.
Alice 210: But I am identical in every way with Alice 27!
Spock: Exactly. That is exactly why I hate you, because you are identical.
(Both the androids slump over in confusion)
Spock: Fascinating.


Spock: Logic is little tweeting bird chirping in meadow. Logic is wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad.

Spock: Nowhere am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.


Spock: On my planet "to rest" is to rest, to cease using energy. To me it is quite illogical to run up and down on green grass using energy instead of saving it.


Spock: Enterprise to signaler on planet's surface. Identify self. (Reads answer) "Hip hip hurrah..." and I believe it's pronounced "Tally ho."


Spock: Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected. In this case, I should think "interesting" would suffice.


Kirk: What do you think you were trying to do?
Spock: I surmised you were unaware of that plant, so I -
Kirk: Stepped in front and took the thorns yourself.
Spock: I assure you, Captain, that I had no intention of doing that. It was merely my own clumsiness which prevented me from moving out of the way.
Kirk: Well, next time just yell, I can step out of the way as quickly as the next man.
Spock: I shall do so.
Kirk: ... Tryin' to get yourself killed. Do you know how much Starfleet has invested in you?
Spock: One hundred twenty-two thousand -
Kirk: Never mind! ... but thanks.


Kirk: I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.
Spock: Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.


Kirk: The boundary layer between what and what?
Spock: Between where we were and where we are.
Kirk: Are you trying to be funny, Mr. Spock?
Spock: It would never occur to me, Captain.

McCoy: Jim, when I suggested to Spock that it was time for his routine checkup, your logical, unemotional First Officer turned to me and said, "You will cease to pry into my personal matters, Doctor, or I shall certainly break your neck."


Spock: After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.


T' Pau: Live long and prosper, Spock.
Spock: I shall do neither. I have killed my captain, and my friend.


Flavius: What do you call those?
Spock: I call them ears.
Flavius: Are you trying to be funny?
Spock: Never.


Oxmyx: Kracko's put the bag on your captain.
Spock: Why would he put a bag on the captain?
Oxmyx: Kidnapped him, you dope.


Oxmyx: Nobody helps nobody but himself.
Spock: Sir, you are employing a double negative.


Spock: Must we?
Kirk: It's faster than walking.
Spock: But not as safe.
Kirk: Are you afraid of cars?
Spock: Not at all, Captain. It is your driving that alarms me.


Spock: I'd advise yas ta keep dialin', Oxmyx!


Spock: Random chance seems to have operated in our favor.
McCoy: In plain, non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky.
Spock: I believe I said that, Doctor.


Kirk: Is there anyone on this ship who even remotely looks like Satan?
Spock: I am not aware of anyone who fits that description, Captain.
Kirk: No, Mr. Spock, I didn't think you would be.


Kirk: You look quite well for a man who's been utterly destroyed, Mr Spock.


Spock: You realize that the aim will of course be very crude.
Kirk: I don't care if you hit the broad side of a barn. Just hurry, please.
Spock: Captain, why should I aim at such a structure?
Kirk: Never mind, Spock, just get on with the job!


Kirk: Very good, Spock. We may make a human of you yet.
Spock: I hope not!


Malakon, describing Spock: Note the sinister eyes and the malformed ears: definitely an inferior race. Note the low forehead denoting stupidity, the dull look of a trapped animal.


McCoy: Please, Spock, do me a favour, and don't say it's "fascinating"!
Spock: No, but it is... interesting.


Spock: Computers make excellent and efficient servants, but I have no wish to serve under them. Captain, a starship also runs on loyalty to one man. And nothing can replace it or him.


Kirk, referring to the Vulcan neck pinch: A pity you can't teach me that.
Spock: I have tried, Captain.


Spock: The ship... out of danger?


Spock: The needs of the many... outweigh -
Kirk: The needs of the few.
Spock: Or the one.


Spock: I have been and always shall be your friend. ...Jim. Your name is Jim.


Spock: Judging by the pollution content of the atmosphere, I believe we have arrived at the late twentieth century.

Spock: What does it mean, 'exact change'?

Spock: To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.
Gillian: Whoever said the human race was logical?


Spock: Are you sure it isn't time for a "colourful metaphor"?


Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell your whales.

Gillian: Are you sure you won't change your mind?
Spock: Is there something wrong with the one I have?


Spock: If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'. If I were human.


Spock: Lt. Uhura, your last log contained an error in the frequencies column.
Uhura: Mr Spock, sometimes I think if I hear that word "frequency" one more time, I'll cry.
Spock: Cry?
Uhura: I was just trying to start a conversation.
Spock: Well, since it is illogical for a Communications Officer to resent the word "frequency," I have no answer.
Uhura: You have an answer. I'm an illogical woman, who's beginning to feel too much a part of that communications console. Why don't you tell me I'm an attractive young lady, or ask me if I've ever been in love, tell me how your planet Vulcan looks on a lazy evening when the moon is full.
Spock: Vulcan has no moon, Miss Uhura.
Uhura: I'm not surprised.


Scotty: I can't change the laws of physics!


Scotty: Laddy, don't you think you should... rephrase that??

Scotty: Freeze right there, Mr Spock, or I'll put you to sleep for sure.

Kracko: I got rights!
Scotty: You got nothing. You mind your place, or you'll be wearin' concrete galoshes.
Kracko: You mean cement overshoes?
Scotty: Aye.

Scotty: Up your shaft!

Scotty, speaking into the mouse: Hello computer!

Sulu: Do you think you might be able to find a long rope somewhere and lower us down a pot of coffee?

Scotty: A keyboard. How quaint.

Chekov: "The needle von't hurt, Chekov. Take off your shirt, Chekov. Roll over, Chekov. Breathe deeply, Chekov. Blood sample, Chekov. Marrow sample, Chekov. Skin sample, Chekov." If...if I live long enough... I'm going to run out of samples.
Sulu: Oh, you'll live.
Chekov: Ah, yes, but I von't enjoy it!

Chekov: Perhaps if I assisted?
Kirk: How old are you?
Chekov: Twenty-two, sir.
Kirk: Then I'd better handle it.

Chekov: Sorry, Ceptin. I never met a god before

Chekov: The Captain requires complete information.
McCoy: Spock's contaminating this boy, Jim.

Kevin Reilly: One more time! I'll take you hooooommmmme agaaaaaain, Kathleeeeeennnnn...

Kirk: Believe me colonel you wouldn’t believe me.

Kirk: Our logic is illogical

Kirk: I am not programed to respond in that area.

Android: Enterprise is a machine
Kirk: No she is a beautiful lady and we love her

Android: It is illogical
Kirk: Your statement is illogical

Scotty: we couldent beam up a fly

Android: Why did she hit him?
Kirk: Because she likes him.